I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
