Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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