ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
