Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
