i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
