If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I love you. Go after that dick
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize