Apparently you make a good broom.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
