YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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