There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
