I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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