Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He? As in you personified your dick?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize