I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
