did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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