Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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