I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
