Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
