Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
