I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
