I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize