I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
