rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I need water and some morals
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
