Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
