Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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