I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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