Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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