ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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