Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
