Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
