i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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