You're completely useless in the revolution.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
