fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
