I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
