then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
