kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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