Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
