I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
