Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
