I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
