Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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