Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
