What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
