yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
