I puked a lego.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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