remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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