I need help removing her.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
