I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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