it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize