You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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