a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
