To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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