Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
