I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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