he wants to bone in the snuggie
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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