He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The adults are the big ones right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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