im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
