i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
