Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
