girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
