Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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