he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
