I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
