I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
